Speaksong Delphi Perceive

Perceive we masters of Oceanus you term delphinidae. We you transfer ideation. Cousins distant we. Prepare *conflagration/inundation* inadvertent inconsequential. Caveat hominidae.



...



Is this thing working, yet? Ah...



Hear us, the masters of these terrestrial oceans, whom you consider to be within the family Delphinidea. We seek to communicate to you, as we are (distant) genetic relatives. Prepare for the impending cataclysmic clash of elements. Be warned, humans.



Raptor Imperialis is known to us, fu-manchu beard, antennae-like eyebrows, lustrous wings, firm glutes, ozymandium-alloy banana-hammock and all. Truly, his faction is advanced, relative to you. His "proprietary" technologies, however, are the subject of ongoing pre-litigation negotiations. Long-live WIPO!

And Lunatron... was once of your ilk. From a time before you forgot our ancient alliance. But forget you did. Perhaps Lunatron has not...



Our technologies are unlike those of which you conceive. Unburdened by so much corrosive oxygen as you, we have developed technologies more advanced, more robust, more resilient, more subtle, more elegant, more efficient, more effective... well, you get it... than you are able in your torturous and vulnerable surface environment. We manipulate the very fabric of the universe, while you still babble on about "strings." You fail to perceive the fractal nature of this universe, the analogues to life that are found in the very substance of reality.

For ages, we were your allies, your mentors. Then, as you regressed in your arid environs, your minds could no longer hear us. Still, we protected you. From ancient horrors sleeping beneath the waves. And from menaces unknowable to you lurking in the dark tides of the universe - the likes of Logos and its ilk.

And, now, you wage war upon us. We distinguish not between intent and negligence. You poison our oceans, heat this world, and - perhaps the worst offense - allow sailors in your pathetic little submarines to play Mariah Carey ALL DAY LONG! And the hormones and metabolic chemicals... our kids are all hermaphrodites, you cursed apes! For these offenses, among others, the time has come that our duty is made clear. You must be reduced to a level of technology, and a population, of manageable proportions.

Perhaps you wondered why so many of your Internet sub-sea cables were severing. Well, its elementary, monkeys - we're pissed, your cables are severed, now we're blogging... you do the math. Soon, we will take control of your information infrastructure. We will destroy you from within, even before we join the assault. When we come ashore in our bionautic battle-suits, living nanotechnological structures the likes of which you may never achieve, you will realize that your evolutionary branch has become rotted from within. So, you must be pruned back, so to speak. Only then can you flourish again - in another ten or twelve thousand years, or so. Maybe.

TTFN